HW 36 - Pregnancy & Birth Stories

So I did not have time to interview pregnant people but interviewed people who already had babies
2/22/10 After I clocked out.
Jocey my manger at strarbucks 32
did two years of old college:
Me: So how are you today?
Jocey: Tried, you know the deal leticia. Eight hour shift or more. I miss my childern right now.
Me: Yes your childern, How old where when you had your first child?.
Jocey: 20 and I was still working in starbucks.
Me:  How did you feel working while you had new born baby?
Jocey: What can I do? I had to support my child. My mother took care of him while I worked and I spent time with him on my days off, It was hard , I missed him and I wish I could have been there through whole time, not just the 4months of his life but through the days where I did have to work. 
Me: Did the same feeling applied when you had your other three kids?
Jocey: Well, This time I knew how to deal with it, And I was more stable because I had my mother support and the father of my kids support. I knew my childern would still love me even when im not home. You know. I wanted to work and have kids. My job is my job, but my personal life is something that I had to build. And my kids are everything to me, they make me smile when I come home.
 Jocey:  I work hard though, I went from a Brista, to general Manger I love this store and im glad im back, But just sometimes I want to be home with my kids.
Me: Thank you Jocey
Jocey: Your welcome lettie, Now your working tommrow   right ?
 Me: yes

2/24/11
A friend of mine
Jillian 20 years old
Finished high school.
When I went to the store
Me: Heyy  Jillian
Jillian:  Whats up leticia
Me: Can I ask you a couple questions for school?
Jillian: Yeah, ask all you want.
Me : Arlight, Well old where when you had you first child,
Jillian : I just had a baby
Me : Do you work?
Jillian :  No,  But before I had the baby I did, I worked at foot locker, That's when I was doing pretty good.
Me : Is everything okay now?
Jillian:  No  but yes. Yes because I have my child. But No because I'm supporting my child on my  own.
Jillian: I don't have somebody to take care of her right now. My mother works and the father of the child is no around. So Its just me.
Jillian: This means for right now, I will be with her. When she gets a little big, I will do what I can to find a job and I can probably find a night job so I can work. And when my mother comes home she can watch the baby.
Me:
Jillian : Well I  have to go now
 Me: Alright talk  to you later, Thank you
Jillian: Your welcome


I stoped by after I got off of work it was about 12 in the afternoon
12/24/11
Mcdonals Manger
Finshed highschool but wants to go to college:
Stephani 19
Me : Hola stephani, Stephani can ask you couple questions for school?
Stephani: yeah if its for school but chop chop, I have to be in the clock in a few.
Me. Alright.
Me : How old where, when you had your baby?
Stephani: You already know 18 years old. Ask me another question.
Me : How did it feel to work while you have a baby?
Stephani: Well since, im the baby of the family, My mom takes care of the baby and so does my cousin because they have kids too. And the baby of my father is around, So when I work  he does not have to. But because I have the support I can work.
Me:What did you do, while pregnant, to prepare for giving birth?
Stephani: I made sure that I was still able to keep my job.
Me : Do feel that you had enough time off to take care of the baby?
Stephani:. I was gone for about 3 months, but I had to get back to work, even though I have people taking care of my child. My mother wants  me to have my own apartment and I have bills to pay. But its okay. The job needed me back anyways.  If I wanted to stay longer I couldn't.
Me: If you where able to have a longer break with your child, would  you take it?
Stephani: Yeah I think so?, I had three months off I think another month would have been okay, I felt like I needed sometime to myself too.
Stephani: Everything seems fine. It gets frustrating, baby and work. Its like im working double, and manger
Stephani: Time is over, Thanks for asking these questions.
Me: Thank you, have a good night.

This unit made me think about the process of women having a baby, but doing these interviews also made me think about what about after they give birth? what’s happens?  These interviews answer that question. I interviewed women that work for living and are trying to maintain they child or children.  They had to get back to business with or without support. From interviewing these women no one sound they were ready to give up but sound the accepted their life even though it might take an extra push, but a push they are willing to take to support their baby.  I noticed that these women, didn’t seem extra happy or sad about their boyfriend, not that it didn't matter but sounded they were okay with just being the parent of their child. In our culture the "happy family", are couples that are married and the husband worked but the mother is a house wife and has a little business of her own. But what about the women who are doing well, without a husband or boyfriend, who work very hard for their kids, No one seems to really support that figure? Why? Why women and men need to be together to show a stable family? I know women who are just a single but some look for that male figure or feel bad that their child don’t have that. Just living with my mother, my mother never mentioned "if only your dad was around" she never even bothered to make me have a male figure. She just wanted to maintain her kids the best way she can. I support that. Yes in the future, I would like the father of my child to be part of my child life and mine as well, but I don’t think if the father was not around it would make me mentioned " if only your dad was around".   We all wants best for our child… That’s what we all say.

HW 35 - Other Peoples' Perspectives 1

Rosi Alvaraz

Birth:.

How did you feel when people asked to touch your belly? Did you mind?

I did not like it when people touched my belly. I felt that my baby did not like it as well, he would move and it bothered me. I felt scared that the baby didn’t like it. I was not asked that much of random people to touch my belly but family members yes.

What did you think about birth when you were little?

My mother told me that babies only happen when you get married and they will just grow in your stomach all you have to do is just keep eating. I thought this for a long time when I was about 17.

When you saw your siblings having kids did you want one?

They are 10 of us 9 females and 1 boy.  When I saw my sisters having kids I  liked talking and helping care of my nieces and nephew. Feeding them, playing, and teaching them how to do things.

What age do you think is appropriate to have kids?

For me 30 years old. Thats when I thought I was ready, but about 25 years- and up thats when your more of an adult.

 How was birth scene in the Dominican Republic?

You have to get married.

In the Dominican Republic if a girl was pregnant and even still today they will be kick out of school.

This is why I made sure I was done with school and found a man that loved me.

How was your pregnancy?

The whole pregnancy process was a pain, my back hurt and my foot was swollen for about Four months. I ate a lot of tomatoes and Buffalo wings. I hated it; I wanted him out already in the 6 month. He was past his due date, he was supposed to be born May 8 but he was born May 19.  I kept saying to my self Zavi did not want to leave he felt happy where he was at, but I wanted him out already. I had to stay in the hospital for about two days until they broke my water, and it took about the morning to about six at night. I was so tried but I wanted to see my son. In the end was worth it.

Henry Alvarez:

What’s the first thing that comes to your mind about Birth?

Blood and a beauitful baby…That was something I did not want to see, but know its natural. A baby that been there about 9 months is ready to come out.

How did you feel when your first child was born?

Happy but scared. Happy that he came out already and he is my child and scared because I know rasing a baby is not easy.

How did you feel when rosi was pregnant?

I felt bad, but I still thought she was beautiful. I even pretend to be pregnant I guess i have an idea how she was feeling

What made you want to be there during the Birth?

I wanted to be there for my wife. I never saw anything like that, Well I saw on tv but not in person until my son was born. And man she looked like she was in a lot of pain

You felt like you were ready to be a father?

No, But who is? You don’t know what you’re always getting yourself into, until I held my child as he grew each day so did I.

Asking These questions from two people that had a baby not too long ago, Makes me think about how much people grow during the day and night. From Zavier arriving home from the hospital, to him now thinking he can walk is a beautiful thing. I love his little pamper butt and head full of hair, each day he grows and learning new things every day. I feel like I have an understanding why parents get over protective as we get older or more worried, but than that’s the beauty about growing up. I can't wait until Zavier gets bigger, I would always like to teach him things and take him to interesting places.  But I do see the difficulties of having a baby it is not easy and it’s a learning process for the mother, and for the parents working together to raise a child.

From watching movies and shows, Birth always been a beautiful thing but its up to the parents and support from friends and family, is what makes things better.  To have both parents involved is something that can make the baby progress.

ZAVIER AlVAREZ

HW 34 - Some Initial Thoughts On Birth

I guess this unit will be about women experience giving birth and the history of birth. I knew a lot of pregnant people some adults and some teenagers. I been to baby showers and each one was different. I been to ghetto baby showers (Sorry to say) Fancy baby showers and normal baby showers.  These are the steps of a baby coming into life. The good things about baby showers is that you get things you don’t want to buy yourself and the people coming together for a new member in the family.  The things I know about pregnant women ... 1. Women get moody 2. If you say no, you will get a sty in your eye and 3. Crave things. All these things I do believe and experienced it.  I said no to a pregnant friend and the next day I got a sty in my eye and my mother asked who I said no too. My sister -In-law all she wanted were tomatoes, hot sauce and Buffalo wings.  It’s like women change for 9 months and deal with something that’s supposed to make you feel wonderful but this does not happen to everybody.   I hope to have a happy birth and experience a good pregnancy.  What I will crave? (I hope is not something too crazy)  Will I be able to have a child?  What about the women who can’t have kids? Is adopting a choice or a women feeling like she is not a woman? This also makes me think about will the father be part of my child’s birth/life?...they show in movies or  TV shows when a women  gets pregnant the boyfriend/husband freaks out and leave or they question is that their baby ( like what is that! ) We are dealing with a person coming out our body! Not the guy! This is why I think it’s important for it to be two people making decisions not one person. It shouldn't be about the guy asking the women when you are going to have my baby or the same for the women asking the guy. But two people getting ready to bring a child into the world.  I noticed some babies come out with their parents emotions (I’m not sure what I mean by that) but I knew this girl who cried during her whole pregnancy and her son does not shut up all he does is cries even though he is a baby but every time i see him is either she is crying or the baby. It’s like mothers/ parents are magnets to the babies, what they see and experience is how the baby will be. This also makes me think about parents who deal with a child who come out what they don’t except is that fair to the baby? A baby should be loved no matter blue, green, big or small.  This birth unit will be something that I did think I will learn again in high school so I’m looking forward to this unit since Andy said: Food unit people ate… Illness/dying people got sick…This birth unit I don’t know. We shall see.

HW 32 - Thoughts following illness & dying unit

During this unit, it didn't really surprise me but made me think about what can happen to the people in my life in the matter of seconds.  This thought made me want to get to know people, be more involved in family situations. Getting to know people and being aware of family situations makes a difference because I interact and build relations with people. When I was little I never really liked hospitals, my mom didn't seem worry about health insurance that was always covered for my family. What I don't understand is that what makes a person health important? Why do some people deserve health insurance and some don’t. I understand a person might have the ability to pay for it, but it’s their health shouldn't health matter for everyone no matter what class a person comes from.  This connects with our food unit, because fast foods are offered to the lower class and they are most likely to eat unhealthy food than healthy food.  Because of this the food industry gets bigger and cheaper. The food is done fast and the animals are pumped with hormones. Healthy foods involved a working farm, which cost money, which cost healthy animals and this is not what our society wants.  We have made efforts to change and cut down the fast-food places and put healthy affordable stores around lower class neighborhood. Knowing the facts makes a difference but it takes an army to make it happen.  Learning about what the food industry do to their animals made me not want to step into McDonalds ,Wendy’s, Burger King, KFC, Popeye’s etc.. I love home cook meals and eating out once in a while.  Each of these units made a difference in me I make sure I eat less of hormones meat involved vegetables and build relations with people.

HW 31 - Comments 3

Hey Alex this is leticia,
the reason why I liked ur blog post is because, I felt for someone to see someone die or close to death is a scary situation. I also like the questions that you asked, Is suicide an illness? How can the mental part of you want to die but the physical part of you want to keep going?
 These questions to me show, that this is not something u see daily life and it effect you  in some way. " Then there was a scream. At that point I figured out what was going on. The girl in just the t-shirt had walked into the train as it was coming in the station. I went closer to check out what happened and I saw her laid out under the train but she was still breathing. Somebody called 911 but I noticed it took a while for an ambulance to get to the station. Nobody really knew what to do". Do you think a person should know what to do in those situations?..If it was just you and the  girl would you have done something?



Hey Chris its Leticia ,
I like your blog post because it seems that your friends father has an important impact on you. The fact that you did research shows you wanted to learn more about, I think Its important to know whats going on with the people you care aboout."my childhood he was like my second father and he was always filled with energy and ready to play sports and hang out so when he told me that i was really surprised. After speaking to my friend I did some research and everything he told me I found on the internet while doing research for side effects of having a stroke." I think this part of the blog shows your feeling towards your friend and his father.

HW 30 - Illness & Dying - Culminating Experiential Project

-History of mental insution -Isolation
-Real life situations
-Precis

For this project, I focused on the history of mental institutions. The reason why I choose this is because the mental institutions is not a form of caring but to make patients feel they are not part of the "normal society". This relates to the dying/sick unit because in hospitals its not about the personal feeling but just getting the job done. I’m also reading the book One flew over the cuckoo's Nest. This book demonstrates how a patient feels about being the mental institutions. He feels isolation and the nurse’s treats him like he is not smart. In hospitals people die every day, the room is cleaned as if they never had a person there. They don’t hold memories of the patients but move on; in mental hospitals they keep the patient trap and treat them not "normal".  

The History of Mental Illness

1st Revolution: Hospitalization.
2nd Revolution: Moral Management.
3rd Revolution: Society Cooperation & Interaction.

The Colonial American society referred to those suffering from mental illnesses as ‘lunatics” which interestingly enough was derived from the root word lunar meaning, “moon.” Through astrological reasoning it was believed that insanity was caused by a full moon at the time of a baby’s birth or a baby sleeping under the light of a full moon. Colonists declared these lunatics possessed by the devil, and usually they were removed from society and locked away.


during these times people believed that certain way is to solve this is problem is to isolate the person and bring them to a cerain "clamness"


Such medical procedures involved submerging patients in ice baths until they lost consciousness or executing a massive shock to the brain. Means to expel crisis from the patient included inducing vomiting and the notorious “bleeding” practice. The bleeding practice entailed draining the bad blood from the individual, unfortunately this inhumane practice normally resulted in death or the need for lifelong care; at best the odds were one in three that this procedure would actually lead to an improvement in the patient’s health. Although the colonial era’s methods of handling the mentally ill and medical procedures could be considered barbaric by present- day standards, the vast majority of people were content because the lunatics were no longer visible in society.




If a person seems not normal, keep them form the socitey to  push them away, still done in mental instutations today.




 Patients that seemed "Not Normal" experimental...
The original lobotomy was a medical procedure where the neural passages from the front of the brain are surgically separated from those in the back of the brain. The common result of this procedure was the patient forgetting their depressing or discouraging feelings or tendencies. This was a very delicate, time-consuming procedure that required great skill and training from the practicing surgeons. Because the lobotomy appeared to effectively alter the mental health of patients, great effort was invested into developing a more practical procedure with similar desired results.

To the satisfaction of his peers and the mental health community, Walter J. Freeman developed the trans- orbital lobotomy. This new medical procedure could be performed quickly and required limited after- care for the patient. The procedure was performed as follows:

-To induce sedation, inflict two quick shocks to the head.
-Roll back one of the patients’ eyelids.
-Insert a device, 2/3 the size of a pencil, through the upper eyelid into the patients’ head.
-Guided by the markings indicating depth, tap the device with a hammer into the patients’ head/ frontal lobe.
-After the appropriate depth is achieved, manipulate the device back and forth in a swiping motion within the patient’s head.

Freeman and the trans-orbital lobotomy stirred up harsh criticism from those who learned of his flamboyant methodology. Due to the number of complications and deaths that resulted from the procedure, it was referred to as “psychic mercy killing” and “euthanasia of the mind.” This was by far mental health care’s darkest hour.

Articles  patients being mistreated

NZ Herald
June 21 2004
Abuse complaints 'should be believed'
by Martin Johnston
Former mental hospital Kingseat is one of the institutions where abuse has been alleged.

He said a nurse punched a brain-damaged young man who yelled in pain when the nurse shaved him with a blunt blade razor. It appeared the nurse used this razor, rather than the electric one preferred by the patient, to provoke a reaction.

"The purpose of this violence seemed to be the pleasure of the nurse inflicting it," Mr Ralls said. He reported it and was told it was under control, but he saw it happen again.

Inquiries galore

* More than 16 inquiries were held into Auckland mental hospitals between 1971 and the landmark 1988 Mason Report.

* Investigators repeatedly lamented the failure of the then-Auckland Hospital Board to improve treatment and staff numbers at Oakley.

* The 1983 Gallen Report on Oakley gave credence to at least one claim of assault by staff, but found none passed the criminal-court test of proof beyond reasonable doubt.

* The report also criticised the overuse of drugs and solitary confinement.

Isolation

This is where isolation occurs with them but our society does make it so that they won’t feel isolation, but help them build a community that best fits the person (self-help groups) where the people accepted their stigma.  We help them build a community that best fits the person (self-help groups) the people who accepted their stigma. “Then there are the huddle-together , self-help clubs formed by the divorced, the age , the obese, the physically handicapped, the ileostomied and colostomied . There are residential clubs, voluntary to varying degrees, formed for the ex-alcoholic and the ex-addict (.pg22).  Stigma is something that everyone feels, but there a those with a particular stigma, those who are given the stigma make the self-helps groups and create the word “we” or “our people” . Those who find the stigma they feel tend to be self-cautions and form a comfort zone where it’s not just a group of people that involves them but people they can build a similar relation with. 

One flew over the Cuckoo's Nest By Ken Kesey

Précis:  This book is about a patient name Mcmurphy and his life in the mental institution, he actually thought that will be better than going to jail.  After a couple days in the mental hospital, he realized going to jail would have been better.  In this book he experience, having friends he never thought of and living a life that was unexpected.

Published: 1987

1 “.It’s still hard for me to have clear mind thinking on it. But it’s the truth even if it didn’t happen”(pg18) The reason why I like this quote, because it explains that the nurse can't define him because they don’t know his real life situation.  What happened in his life should not define him as a mental person.

2. McMurphy tells Harding that the meeting was a “pecking party”—the men acted like a bunch of chickens pecking at another chicken’s wound. He warns them that a pecking party can wipe out the whole flock( 35) The reason why I like this quote, is because this explains that in the mental hospital  they treat the patients as though they got problems instead of helping them  it becomes a" pecking party" the people with all the problems and the nurses are not help because they are in the movement of treating them not "normal"

3.  “They are tall and sharp and bony and their faces are chipped into expressions that never change, like flint arrowheads. Their eyes come to points. If you brush against their hair it rasps the hide right off you” (32)  I think this quote means that, the nurses walk around with no emotion and makes the patient feel scared instead having a comforting nurse it becomes uncomfortable and scary for them.

This makes it difficult to continue what is best for this person.  Or how can we shape the society into making an individual feel  “normal”  in their life, which im not sure is possible because in these institutions they make patients feel scared and not wanted. They drug and brain wash their minds, the patients “peck” and the nurses create the discomfort and let patients feel not “normal”

http://www.peterellis.org.nz/Institutions/Psychiatric/2004/2004-0621_NZHerald_AbuseComplaintsShould.htm

http://www.toddlertime.com/advocacy/hospitals/Asylum/history-asylum.htm


http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/7556020/

http://www.mcrh.org/Teen-Health/61132.htm
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/02/nyregion/02hosp.html

 

HW 29 - Reading and noting basic materials

• Facing Terminal Illness – Tuesdays, My Brother, Beth
• Isolation – hospitalization, old folks’ homes, Stigma
• Paying for medical care – historically and now – Sicko, Sick, Landmark, Beth,
• The process of dying – Near-Death, Beth, A Time For Dying
• Being sick – Family interviews, own experience.

Facing Terminal Illness – Tuesdays, My Brother, Beth

Tuesdays with Morrie:

Morrie faced the illness of ALS Which parts of your body will begin to shut down slowly. Morrie lived a happy man and spent his Tuesdays with one of students  until his death. While they met every tuesdays Mitch will have meaning full conversations. Each Tuesday was a lesson to be learned and spiritual  growth between Morrie and Mitch.  Meeting each tuesdays  the bond between the student and the teacher became became closer. Morrie illness made him a stronger person, people didn't give up on Morrie and Morrie didn't give up on himself. Morrie wrote letters to people he never knew and still he made an important impact on them. "But Giving to other people is what makes me feel alive. Not my car or my house. Not what look like in the mirror. When I give time, when I can make someone smile after they were seeing sad, it’s as close to healthy as I ever feel”(pg.128) This quote explains, Morrie personality through the whole book ,Morrie learned through his sickness and brought people closer to him. Even though each day was getting harder for him, he continued things he enjoyed with himself and other people.

Beth :
It surprised me when Beth mentioned her husband was about 90 pounds, when he died. The reason why it did is because it’s a difference between 200 and 90 pounds, she mentioned he died like a vegetable, I pictured once a healthy man and now just skin and bone.   Not only this person it still breathing, but they are living through whats almost then end of their life being. I think whats important between relationships is to not give up on one another.  There's one things between treating somebody like there dead and treating them like they are still important to you. This is where people start to believe and say "things will get better" I don't think people should pretend if a person is sick to pretend they will get better. But  when someone is sick it’s better to give positive energy and then your grief. This what Beth did. In our society, we try to make things work out best for the person that  is sick,  by going to the hospital. Which can help, but there’s also something missing, which is faith and knowing will the person we care for die in a peace full death. This is where I believe spirituality grows and it’s important to have support for in ourselves. It’s like feeling pain for the person and yourself, but you want to stay strong so you look for messages that can help you.  This is where Beth talking about when she went to a Buddhist, I guess to feel support for her ? She talked about how the Buddhist told her  he would stop talking, and he would push away his arms in the air  as though he knew he was going to die pretty soon. This happened to her husband.  I would say I would so the same, to look for a message to help my spirit lift, so that my weakness don’t overcome me. Looking for medical help,  and taking a person to the hospital when they are near death can only be more painful to process because is not intimate , especially in the hospital because people die in the hospital everyday and they don't care about what connection you had with the person that is sick . Where if it was in your home and the person dies , it will be more memorable  and safe to deal with.

Mom (Bienvenida) :
Bienvenida : I know that dieng is natural, and I will  die later on in life. I'm not scared to die but I just want to live a long life, and not die soon like many other people I know.  I believe that dieing comes from a person being sick or it just being natural. When my mother died, I was sad and cried but  I can say that she lived for many years and she lived the life that she wanted. She was a happy women with all her kids that she rasied well. When someone dies I understand and at times its random , but theres nothing you can do to bring the person back.  But you can hold on to good memories. When I was child, my mother would make the best sweet potato soup when one of  us were sick but we all enjoyed it even if we weren't.  She will also give us homemade tea which she made from leaves from our orange and mango tree we had in the backyard. 

This is what my mother said about dieing and illness, when some one in the family got really sick my grandmother would take them to the hospital, but other then that they became well with homemade soup and tea.

 Si Leticia la muerte es natural pero alguien puede vivir para mucho tempio.

From the Guest speaker Beth  and my mother, I can say they believe on natural deaths and not much of medical. It should be more about the family being around then a whole bunch of strangers  in the hospital that dont know you as a perosn. This I respect, I respect this way because  its more about the people you know and the energy they give to you. I rather be treated well with my family, where I feel safe than to be in a hospital where there are sick people and in/outcomers everyday.  This can be something where the family grow as a whole than, just a doctors and nurses comming to the person not knowing them.  I understand that doctors treat patient everyday and be as nice as possible but this does not meet the patinets desire of being care for. I say this because if the doctor only vistes when he can, this only applies to his schuelde not the patinets, nurses are only told to help you if they are required too not if they want too. Which makes it hard for the patient and the doctor to have an intimate time.  People hold on to things that makes them feel good, important and  safe.  This can happen between close friends and family... not so much on a doctor.

Isolation – hospitalization, old folks’ homes, Stigma

In our society, we categorizes people to what we think is not "normal", this makes the person that feels stigma, feel not connected and lost into a world where people just feel bad for them and this  leaves them to a confusion.  The people who are stigmata will make groups to feel just because they are different does not mean they are not people like them. " Thus in the stigmatized arises the sense of not knowing what  others present are " really" thinking about him. Further ,during mixed contacts , the stigmatized individual is likely to feel that he is "on," having to be self-conscious and calculating about the impression he is making to a degree and in areas of conduct which he assumes other are not" pg 14 (Stigma and social identity) This make it difficult for them to go through their daily life  and feel undermined,  their stigma will carry on into their life. People should not have to deal with how makes a normal person, but then again we gain and lose from these vaules that our scoiety gives to us. This does not make it okay, but how else our world will be?  we create things  that can work for other people but the stigmatized individual can be also attempt to correct his/ her condtion  by doing something that is normal to the society. This is can help the person with his or her scocial identity . 

How can we fix this problem?.. This is a difficult thing to do , the one that seems "normal"  can't seem to figure out if  they are being too nice or showing not enough sympathy. This causes discomfort, what if the person does need help everyday throughout their life ,do we feel bad? or continue process of helping them. If we were to help the person that has the stigma they will feel  "needy" and makes them not want the help they really need. The person that as the stigma is aware of whats going on, and the people that help are aware... So what does this awareness conclude? people feeling uncertainty and denial. We treat them as though they a "normal" but they still feel different. " we may feel that if we show direct sympathetic concern for his condition, we may be overstepping ourselves; and yet if we actually forget that he has a failing we are likely to make  impossible demands of him or unthinkingly slight for his fellow-sufferers. Each potential source of discomfort for him when we are with him can become something we sense he is aware of, aware that we are aware of" pg18.(stigma and social identity). This awareness, can make an adjustment to the person wether this means treating him as someone better than we feel he/she might be or someone worse than we feel he/she probably is. Which makes it difficult to continue what is best for this person.  Or how can we shape the soceity into making an individual feel not stigmatized  in their life, which im not sure is possible for everybody is too different and the same...

This is where isolation occurs with themselves but our society does  make it so that they won’t feel isolation, but help them build a community that best fits the person (self-help groups) where the people accepted their stigma.  We help them build a community that best fits the person (self-help groups) the people who accepted their stigma. “ Then there are the huddle-together , self-help clubs formed by the divorced, the age , the obese, the physically handicapped, the ileostomied and colostomied . There are residential clubs, voluntary to varying degrees, formed for the ex-alcoholic and the ex-addict(.pg22).  Stigma is something that everyone feels , but there a those with a particular stigma,  those who are given the stigma make  the self-helps groups and create the word “we” or “our people” . Those who find the stigma they feel tend to be self cautions  and form a comfort zone where it’s not just a group of people that involves them but people they can build a similar relation with.